I showed him my bush... on skype.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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