Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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