Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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