And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
