If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Vodka?
Forever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
