i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
