4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize