Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
