My balls are so social today.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
