I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
