How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
