Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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