Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
