it wasn't lemon gatorade
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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