Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
