She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Welp...herpes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
