Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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