girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
how does that bad decision feel?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
