I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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