Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
