we're blogging at a bar
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
