May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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