And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
