yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
