do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You took a bar mat shot.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
