Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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