dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize