I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I want to make a zoo with you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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