Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
