I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
