Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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