If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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