I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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