The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
