If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
