I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
