She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
