Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We have so much sex to catch up on
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
