one might say we're banned from that church
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
