Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
