i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think people are normalizing furries
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize