Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
