____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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