I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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