I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
