if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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