I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
