508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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