so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
