i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
