operation have a gay friend backfired
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
