i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
