just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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