she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
