idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
