absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
