South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
