You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
