idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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