Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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