Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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