Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
