And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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