His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
