just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
