just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We have started to decorate penises.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
