Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
