I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
