Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
