Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
