just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
